


Let Us Not Return

by Singer_Luver_808



Series: SongFic [3]
Category: BiLaz
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29200959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singer_Luver_808/pseuds/Singer_Luver_808
Summary: Let us not returnWe’ve forgotten our namesWe’ve gone, there’s no point looking for usAnd lose and look and loseAnd when the lights come onWe won’t run to the shoresWe’ve gone, there’s no point looking for usAnd accuse and forgive and accuse~ Dima Bilan
Relationships: Sergey Lazarev/Dima Bilan
Series: SongFic [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827808
Kudos: 1





	Let Us Not Return

**Author's Note:**

> Dima Bilan - Let Us Not Return  
> Dima Bilan - Ne Davaj Nam Vernut'sya Nazad  
> Дима Билан - Не Давай Нам Вернуться Назад  
> https://youtu.be/MgJm0O1RLBs

_We two were together on show_

_We believed in that show,_

_That together we would walk_

_Every route, every route_

I looked into the eyes I called native, thinking, how could he do this to me? How could he teach me love, teach me pain, teach me peace, but most of all, teach me life, then betray me?

"I'm leaving and I don't mean to hurt you."

These words cut me deep. Deeper than a knife. "You don't mean to hurt me? What do you mean you don't mean to hurt me? All my life everything I did was only for you! I haven't done anything for myself ever since you came into my life! So what do you mean you don't mean to hurt me? You taught me love, pain, peace, and life! I would be meaningless without you!" I yelled, throwing a vase on the floor. Sergey backed up, scared of my actions. "You taught me what life is. With you I felt alive. With you I was someone. Without you I would be nothing..." I said in a quieter tone of voice as I picked up the glass shards off the floor. His face... his face had so much emotion, so much guilt, but no regret.

"My feelings for you have cooled."

I cut my hand on the broken glass. He went to get bandages, my pain growing with every second. But the pain wasn't from the cut on my hand. It was from what was happening. "Dima. I love you. But not as before. I only love you as a friend." he said, wiping the blood off of my hand. If you really do love me, and if you're sorry, then look into my eyes, hold my gaze, grab my hands, and say it.

_We howled in the silence of apartments_

_Cooled down in silence at the windows_

_Letting in a strange coldness_

_A strange coldness_

I watched as he wrapped my hand with white cloth, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry this hurts. But you'll be happy after I'm gone." I can't accept anything this man says. I can't. "How am I gonna forget? How am I supposed to forget such tender kisses, hot nights, such sweet I love yous, such days when we are one? How?" I was sad, I was angry, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart twenty-million times, but only from words. I felt like I was dying, like the world was ending. "I don't know who I am without you." Tears streamed down my face as I spoke, Sergey's brown eyes shining bright.

_Let us not return_

_We’ve forgotten our names_

_We’ve gone, there’s no point looking for us_

_And lose and look and lose_

When you truly love someone you let them go, let them go for better. So this is what I did. I let this man out of my house, my bed, but not my heart. We had been together for six years, the best six years of my life. I had to move out of the house I used to call home with Sergey because of the pain that was still there. I tried dating, but it never worked. I couldn't steady myself. And during this, I saw on the news that Lazarev is in Florida with some Dmitry Kuznetsov...

_And when the lights come on_

_We won’t run to the shores_

_We’ve gone, there’s no point forgiving us_

_And accuse and forgive and accuse_

"If he's happy, I'm happy for him." I told myself as I sat down, changing the channel. I wondered how long I could keep lying to myself before breaking down. He seemed happier with this Dmitry than he ever did with me. I knew we never painted by the numbers, played by the rules, but I thought we made it work. I thought we were happier than anyone has ever been. The day passed, night fell quicker than a ball dropping on the floor. I looked out the window, seeing two familiar faces. It was Lazarev and his Kuznetsov, entering the building, my heart aching. They lived in the same building as me. They didn't notice how I watched as they walked.

_You’re on your home patch you go to sleep_

_I’m on my home patch I look out into the night_

_How are you there? How are you there?_

I couldn't handle this. I just turned off the lights, a sad look on my face as I got ready for bed. Why did he do this to me? Is Kuznetsov really the one he needs? These were question I needed answers to, but I couldn't get them. Especially not now.

_We’re alone in full darkness_

_In full darkness the lights have faded away_

_And each is himself, each is himself_

I replayed every memory ever made with him, pure bliss as I remember. But it doesn't seem that way to him. He is making new memories with his loved one as I remember the ones I made with a former beloved. It hurt me more than anything ever. He was my life. My soul. The air I breathe. Now he is someone else's...

_Let us not return_

_We’ve forgotten our names_

_We’ve gone, there’s no point looking for us_

_And lose and look and lose_

_And when the lights come on_

_We won’t run to the shores_

_We’ve gone, there’s no point forgiving us_

_And accuse and forgive and accuse_

**Author's Note:**

> hey! thanks for reading! this took me a couple hours to write, so i would appreciate it if you left kudos and comments!


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